Ben Sanderson: Are you desirable? Are you irresistible? Maybe if you drank bourbon with me, it would help. Maybe if you kissed me and I could taste the sting in your mouth it would help. If you drank bourbon with me naked. If you smelled of bourbon as you fucked me, it would help. It would increase my esteem for you. If you poured bourbon onto your naked body and said to me “drink this”. If you spread your legs and you had bourbon dripping from your breasts and your pussy and said “drink here” then I could fall in love with you. Because then I would have a purpose. To clean you up and that, that would prove that I’m worth something. I’d lick you clean so that you could go away and fuck someone else.
Garland Greene: Two went down, one came up.
Cameron Poe: Wasn’t my fault.
Garland Greene: Well, you don’t have to tell me. Most murders are crimes of necessity rather than desire. But the great ones, Dahmer, Gacy, Bundy. . .they did it because it excited them.
Cameron Poe: Don’t you. . .I got nothing in common with them, with you. Don’t you talk to me! They were insane.
Garland Greene: Now you’re talking semantics. What if I told you insane was working 50 hours a week in some office for 50 years at the end of which they tell you to piss off, ending up in some retirement village hoping to die before suffering the indignity of trying to make it to the toilet on time? Wouldn’t you consider that to be insane?
Cameron Poe: Murdering 30 people, semantics or not, is insane!
Garland Greene: One girl. . .I drove through three states wearing her head as a hat.
Cameron Poe: It’s my daughter’s birthday today. So please feel free not to share everything with me.
Castor Troy: Y’know, I could eat a peach for hours.
Peter Loew: Alva, there is no one else in this entire office that I could possibly ask to share such a horrible job. You’re the lowest on the totem pole here, Alva. The lowest. Do you realize that? Every other secretary here has been here longer than you, Alva. Every one. And even if there was someone here who was here even one day longer than you, I still wouldn’t ask that person to partake in such a miserable job as long as you were around. That’s right, Alva. It’s a horrible, horrible job; sifting through old contract after old contract. I couldn’t think of a more horrible job if I wanted to. And you have to do it! You have to or I’ll fire you. You understand? Do you? Good.
Charlie Kaufman: To begin. . .to begin. . .how to start? I’m hungry. I should get coffee. Coffee would help me think. Maybe I should write something first, then reward myself with coffee. Coffee and a muffin. Okay, so I need to establish the themes. Maybe a banana-nut. [beat] That’s a good muffin.
I don’t even remember when I first saw this movie, but it must be over 15 years ago now. I love it so much. I used to own in on VHS, yes VHS, and I’d watch it anytime I needed a pick-me-up. There’s just this wonderful energy about the entire film. It’s a lot of fun and full of heart. It was up for six Academy Awards, winning three: Best Actress – Cher (she won), Best Supporting Actress – Olympia Dukakis (she won), Best Original Screenplay – John Patrick Shanley (he won), Best Supporting Actor – Vincent Gardenia, Best Director – Norman Jewison and Best Picture. It was up against Broadcast News, Fatal Attraction, Hope and Glory and winner The Last Emperor.