Monthly Archives: April 2012
Becca: Does it ever go away?
Nat: No, I don’t think it does. Not for me, it hasn’t – has gone on for eleven years. But it changes though.
Nat: I don’t know. . .the weight of it, I guess. At some point, it becomes bearable. It turns into something that you can crawl out from under and. . .carry around like a brick in your pocket. And you. . .you even forget it, for a while. But then you reach in for whatever reason and – there it is. Oh right, that. Which could be awful – not all the time. It’s kinda. . .not that you’d like it exactly, but it’s what you’ve got instead of your son. So, you carry it around. And uh. . .it doesn’t go away. Which is. . .
Becca: Which is what?
Nat: Fine, actually.
Judy: I believe you dropped something.
Howard: What do you think you are doing?
Judy: I think I’m taking a bath, aren’t I?
Howard: If you’re not out of here in two minutes, I’m calling the police.
Judy: Who do you think they’ll arrest? The girl in the tub or the guy with his pants down?
Howard: I am not joking now. I do not like to act rashly, but you are the last straw that breaks my camel’s back, you are the plague, you bring havoc and chaos to everyone, but why to me? Why me? Why?
Judy: Because you look cute in your pyjamas, Steve.
Howard: GET OUT!
Judy: Right now?
[Judy starts to get out the bath]
Howard: No! Wait a minute!
Handsome Internet Expert: Now maybe when this thing has finished its searching, we could go to this, uh, this neat little bar I know and, uh, have a little drink. What do you say?
Elizabeth ‘Libby’ Parsons: Yeah. I just have to check in with my parole officer first.
Handsome Internet Expert: You’ve been to jail?
Elizabeth ‘Libby’ Parsons: Actually prison. Jail is a different thing.
Handsome Internet Expert: [laughs nervously] So what did you do? Not pay your parking tickets?
Elizabeth ‘Libby’ Parsons: Oh, no. I was convicted of murdering my husband.
Handsome Internet Expert: You’re kidding, right?
Elizabeth ‘Libby’ Parsons: No, I’m not. “Sliced and Diced” the paper called it. Can you believe that?
Paulie: Look at that chair! What the hell happened here?
Charlie: She walked out. She took the money. She left.
Paulie: She robbed you? What did you do, Charlie?
Charlie: I didn’t do anything, Paulie. I didn’t hit her. I didn’t do nothin’.
Paulie: You can’t do that, man. I mean you don’t abuse ’em once in a while they’ll shit all over you. I don’t mean you walk around morning to night whackin’ ’em upside the head like someone from the other side, but you terrorize ’em once in a while just to keep ’em in line. Know what I mean? Like sometimes, when they embarrass you in front of your friends, you whack ’em with a backhand. You’re not in the middle of the road like some fucking animal, but nice, in the bedroom. Ba-boom! “What am I? Some kind of fucking asshole? Get your coat on fast and you don’t say goodnight to nobody! You understand me?” That’s to keep them humble. When you don’t let them say goodnight to nobody, they walk out looking at the fucking floor. [beat] Chaaaaaaaaarlie, they took my thumb!
Donald Gresham: Why are you so preoccupied with sex?
Patty O’Neill: Who, me?
Donald Gresham: Yes, you.
Patty O’Neill: Do you really think I am?
Donald Gresham: Well, you are always asking if people plan seduction or they’re bored with virgins or they have a mistress. . .Now, if that isn’t being preoccupied with sex, I’d like to know what is.
Patty O’Neill: You may be right. [beat] But don’t you think it’s better for a girl to be preoccupied with sex than occupied?
Beth: What are you getting so crazy about? It’s just music. It’s not that big a deal.
Shrevie: It is! Don’t you understand? This is important to me!
Beth: Shrevie, why do you yell at me? I never hear you yell at any of your friends.
Shrevie: Look, pick a record, okay.
Shrevie: Just pick any record. Any record! Okay, what’s the hit side?
Beth: “Good Golly Miss Molly”
Shrevie: Ok, now ask me what’s on the flip side.
Shrevie: Just, just ask me what’s on the flip side, okay?
Beth: What is on the flip side?
Shrevie: “Hey, Hey, Hey” 1958. Specialty Records. [beat] See? You don’t ask me things like that, do you? No! You never ask me what’s on the flip side.
Beth: No! Because I don’t give a shit. Shrevie, who cares about what’s on the flip side of a record?
Shrevie: I do! Every one of my records means something! The label, the producer, the year it was made. Who was copying whose style, who’s expanding on that. Don’t you understand? When I listen to my records they take me back to certain points in my life, okay? Just don’t touch my records, ever! The first time that I met you? Modell’s sister’s high school graduation party, right? 1955. And “Ain’t That A Shame” was playing when I walked into the door!
Diana Scott: Imagine if…
Miles Brand: What?
Diana Scott: It took three.
Miles Brand: Took three?
Diana Scott: Sexes. To make a child.
Miles Brand: Very entertaining.
Diana Scott: Everything would be different, wouldn’t it, quite different, with three sexes.
Miles Brand: Haven’t we got enough problems with two?