Monthly Archives: April 2014
Velma Von Tussle: You don’t need those. . . to see what’s under these clothes.
Wilbur Turnblad: There’s a product that really works ’cause these are phony as a three dollar bill.
Velma Von Tussle: Incredible! I could do a fan dance with a lettuce leaf… and you would remain completely obtuse.
Wilbur Turnblad: Obtuse.
Velma Von Tussle: Yes, obtuse.
Wilbur Turnblad: I flunked geometry.
Velma Von Tussle: Yeah, well-and biology too, no doubt!
Wilbur Turnblad: Yeah.
Mike: So the Kid said something about breakfast.
Brooke: Uh, well, he must be fucking drunk because I don’t cook no fucking breakfast.
Mike: I wasn’t talking about you cooking it. He just said you like breakfast food. We were going to swing by IHOP on the way. . .Okay uh, good talk. Um, I’ll be outside with the rest of the breakfast lovers of the world.
Lion: You don’t have to hit people. Not if you can make ’em laugh.
Max Millan: Bullshit.
Lion: Hey Max, you heard the story of the scarecrow?
Max Millan: No.
Lion: You think crows are scared of a scarecrow?
Max Millan: Yeah, I think they’re scared.
Lion: Yeah why? No, crows are not scared, believe me.
Max Millan: The goddamn crows are scared.
Lion: No, crows are laughin’.
Max Millan: Nah, that’s bullshit. . .
Lion: That’s right, the crows are laughin’. Look, the farmer puts out a scarecrow, right, with a funny hat on it, got a funny face. The crows fly by, they see that, it strikes ’em funny, makes ’em laugh.
Max Millan: The goddamn crows are laughin’?
Lion: That’s right, they’re laughin’ their asses off. And then they say, “Well, that ol’ farmer Joe down there, he’s a pretty good guy. He made us laugh, so he won’t bother him any more.”
Max Millan: The goddamn crows are laughin’. . .
Lion: Ohh, they laughin’, woooo!
Max Millan: I gotta tell ya somethin’, that’s the most hare-brained idea I’ve ever heard.
Lion: Well, it’s true, they’re laughin’ their asses off.
Max Millan: The crows are laughin’. . .yeah. . .oh, man. . .I guess the fish are reciting poetry. . .
Lion: I guess so.
Max Millan: Uh huh. . .and the uh, pigs are playin’ banjo? And the dogs would be, let’s see, uh. . .would be playin’ hockey. And the uh. . .the uh. . .
Lion: Crows are laughin’.
Max Millan: Crows are laughin’, right. Ya know, in the joint I’ve heard some tales, oh boy, golly I’ve heard some tall tales. But at least those guys had the decency to admit that it was bullshit, you know what I mean? They actually uh, they took pride, pride in that it was bullshit. But the crows are laughin’ huh? Oh, brother, heee. . .I mean you’re not playin’ with a full deck man, you got one foot in the great beyond.
John Quincy Adams: Cinque, look. I’m being honest with you. Anything less would be disrespectful. I’m telling you, I’m preparing you, I suppose I’m explaining to you, that the test ahead of us is an exceptionally difficult one.
Cinque: (speaking in Mende / Ens. Covey translating) We won’t be going in there alone.
John Quincy Adams: Alone? Indeed not. We have right at our side. We have righteousness at our side. We have Mr Baldwin over there.
Cinque: (speaking in Mende / Ens. Covey translating) I meant my ancestors. I will call into the past, far back to the beginning of time, and beg them to come and help me at the judgment. I will reach back and draw them into me. And they must come, for at this moment, I am the whole reason they have existed at all.
Beatrice: O, God, that I were a man! I would eat his heart in the market-place.
Benedick: Hear me, Beatrice…
Beatrice: Talk with a man at a window. O, a proper saying.
Benedick: Nay, but, Beatrice. . .
Beatrice: Sweet Hero. She is wronged, she is slandered, she is undone.
Beatrice: Princes and counties. A goodly count. O, that I were a man for his sake! Or that I had any friend who would be a man for my sake! But manhood is melted into curtsies, valor into compliment, and men are only turned into tongues, and trim ones too. For he is now as valiant as Hercules who only tells a lie and swears it! I cannot be a man with wishing, therefore I will die a woman with grieving.
Kay Lemp: Look.
Dr. Clinton Forrest, Jr.: Mmm-hmmm.
Kay Lemp: Right from the comissary.
Dr. Clinton Forrest, Jr.: Mmm. No, no. I don’t care for a sandwich, thanks.
Kay Lemp: It’s not for you, it’s for me. Know any more about nomoncoculosous?
Dr. Clinton Forrest, Jr.: Pneumoconiosis.
Kay Lemp: Do you?
Dr. Clinton Forrest, Jr.: No, no. Not much. It takes time. I make a little progress. Somebody else makes a little progress. Maybe a hundred years.
Kay Lemp: Well, anyway, you’ve just done a great job.
Dr. Clinton Forrest, Jr.: Oh, thanks.
Kay Lemp: Say, wouldn’t you like me to develop nomoncoconosous?
Dr. Clinton Forrest, Jr.: Pneumoconiosis.
Kay Lemp: Yeah, so you can have a handy guinea pig.
Dr. Clinton Forrest, Jr.: Hey, how did you know I liked milk instead of cream in my coffee?
Kay Lemp: I noticed at the house.
Dr. Clinton Forrest, Jr.: Yeah?
Kay Lemp: Nothing escapes me. Nothing and no one.
Dr. Clinton Forrest, Jr.: Ohhhh.
Lenny Cantrow: I don’t mind saying, this is one of the finest meals that I’ve ever had.
Mrs. Corcoran: Oh, thank you Leonard. It’s simple, you know. Mr. Corcoran doesn’t really care for fancy food. Though, I imagine you’ve tried just about every exotic dish in New York.
Lenny Cantrow: Exactly. See, that’s the trouble, it’s exotic, but it’s not honest. I mean, it’s fancy, but it’s not real. I mean, this is honest food. There’s no lying in that beef. There’s no insincerity in those potatoes. There’s no deceit in the cauliflower. This is a totally honest meal. You don’t know what a pleasure it in this day and age to sit down and eat a meal you can believe in.