Monthly Archives: February 2016
Matt Lee Whitlock: Try the crab, it’s real good.
Chris Harrison: Nah, I’m allergic.
Matt Lee Whitlock: I know.
Sweetness O’Hara: Stop! What are you doing? What? This is just bizarre. Seriously, what? What do you want?
Gordon O’Hara: I’m worried about you.
Sweetness O’Hara: It’s too late for that.
Gordon O’Hara: Well, maybe, but I’m here now.
Sweetness O’Hara: You’re a little late.
Gordon O’Hara: Look, Sweetie, I’m here now!
Dave Chappelle: That was “‘Round Midnight” I was playing. That’s the Thelonious Monk song. One of my favorite musicians, ’cause his timing was so ill. Every comedian is a stickler for timing, and Thelonious Monk was off time, yet perfectly on time. You should study it. If you’re an aspiring comedian, or an aspiring musician, you should study it. Which brings me to my next point. Comedians and musicians, we’re like this: [interlocks fingers] Every comic wants to be a musician. Every musician thinks they’re funny. It’s a very strange relationship that we have. Some musicians are funny. Some comedians can play. I’ll give you an example: Mos Def – funny guy; Jamie Foxx – good singer and piano player. So you never know, you never know what kind of talents a person has. I am mediocre at both, but I’ve managed to talk my way into a fortune. Life is a funny and unpredictable thing!
God: Stinking motherfucking bitch.
Jeff Cole: What’s up with the little man?
God: Smells like he messed up his diaper. You’ll be alright boo-boo.
Odin James: My life is over, that’s it. But while all ya’ll are out here livin’ yours, sitting around talking about the nigger that lost it back in high school, you make sure you tell them the truth. You tell them I loved that girl! I did! But I got played! He twisted my head up. He fucked it up. I ain’t no different than none of ya’ll. My mom’s ain’t no crack head. I wasn’t no gang banger. It wasn’t some hood rat drug dealer that tripped me up. It was this white, prep school motherfucker standing right there! You tell them where I’m from. . .didn’t make me do this.
Rodney Jerkins: So I hear Mikey’s gonna make you super colossal.
Honey Daniels: I thought I was making him look good, but you know.
Wanda: I told him to take the train. I told him to catch the BART. I didn’t know they were gonna hurt my baby. I should’ve just let him drive. I should’ve let him drive, but I wanted to keep him safe. You gotta let me hug him. Please, let me hug him. Please. Please! He didn’t like to be alone.
Diouana: Back in Dakar they must be saying: “Diouana is happy in France . . .She has a good life.” For me, France is the kitchen, the living room, the bathroom and my bedroom. Where are the people who live in this country? The mistress told me: “You’ll see, Diouana, there are lovely shops in France.” Is France that black hole? What am I here? The cook? The cleaning woman? The washerwoman? And when the kids come, what else will I have to do? I’m alone. Did the mistress bring me here to shut me in? That’s why she was so nice to me in Dakar, giving me her old dresses, her old slips, her old shoes. I spend my life between the kitchen and my bedroom. Is that living in France?
Charlie: You gotta watch your back too much in places like that. Don’t know who to trust, who not to. ‘Cause ain’t nobody got a heart in cities like that.
Kari: Ain’t that everywhere?
Charlie: As long as you’re next to family, there’s always heart, whether you like ’em or not.
Chenille: You and Derek act like it don’t bother people to see you together. Like it don’t hurt people to see.
Sara: Well, we like each other. What is the big damn deal? It’s me and him, not us and other people.
Chenille: Black people, Sara. Black women. Derek’s about something. He’s smart. He’s motivated. He’s for real. He’s not gonna make babies and not take care of them, or run the streets messing up his life. He’s gonna make something of himself. And here you come — white, so you gotta be right — and take one of the few decent men we have left after jail, drugs and drive-by. That is what Nikki meant about you up in our world.
Sara: There’s only one world, Chenille.
Chenille: That’s what they teach you. We know different.