Movie Quote of the Day – Encino Man, 1992 (dir. Les Mayfield)
Stoney: Kashmir? Raji, is it. . .? How many minutes for the burrito again?
Kashmir: two minutes.
Raji: One minute.
Kashmir: Two minutes!
Stoney: Ah, make up your melons ! Is it one or two ?
Raji: One and a half minutes.
Stoney: Okay, my friend. Try and experience what I’m about to chirp in your lobes, cool ?
Stoney: Okay buddy, we’re going to discuss grindage. How to fill the furnace, pack the cheeks and stuff the gills. okay ? You’re probably used to eating twigs, right ? But here in the U.S. Of a-age we got something called the four basic food groups, and, Link, this is not one of ’em.
Stoney: Look at what we have here. Dairy group.
Link: Dairy group.
Stoney: Milk duds. hide these under your pillow so your mom doesn’t find them. If she does, you’re tweaked, buddy.
Stoney: Keep on cruisin’. Fruit group. Sweet tarts. These are killer. So citrusy, dude, you’ll freak. Keep on cruisin’. Uh-huh. Right, this is the vegetable group. Corn nuts! Put ’em on a pedestal, bro. Look at that! Those are kill, huh ? [microwave rings] Meat group! Come on, Link, the meat group. These are my favorite ! Hey, you gotta be equal, equal, fifty/fifty. Here. Mmm. Mmm. Ewww! figures. Hot on the outside, icicle in the middle.
Kashmir: Two minutes.
Stoney: You like that, right, ’cause you’re a caveman. Cool, buddy. The beverage ! Icee, bro. This is what put this place on the map.
Raji: What are you doing, Mr. Stoney ? No, no ! You can’t do this here.
Kashmir: You must leave now, please.
Stoney: Look, Kashmir, Rajneesh, chill.
Kashmir: No buds chill!
Stoney: Link and I are cruisin’ the mountain, bro, and we figured we’d weeze the ju-uice.
Raji: No weezen’ the ju-uice.
Link: Weeze the juice!
Raji: No! No weezin’ the juice.
Kashmir: No weezin’ the juice.
Stoney: Hey, just chill, buds. It’s okay. Just chill.
Link: I’ll be back.
Kashmir: No buds chill !