Lil: I got a real, old-fashioned streak in me. I wanna live a normal life.
Johnny Dangerously: Johnny Dangerously can’t live a normal life. It ain’t in the cards. People like me, we’re like shooting stars. We cross the sky, burning hot for one moment in time, and then we…plunge to earth, disappear. Jesus Christ, I’m starting to upset myself.
Alan Swann: Live? Live? What does ‘live’ mean?
Benjy Stone: It means at the exact moment you’re cavorting and leaping around that stage over there, twenty million people are seeing it.
Alan Swann: Wait a minute. Wait. . .a . . .minute.
Benjy Stone: Mr. Swann, you’re white.
Alan Swann: You mean it all goes into the camera lens and then just spills out into people’s houses?!
Benjy Stone: Yeah.
Alan Swann: Why has nobody had the goodness to explain this to me before?
Benjy Stone: It’s nothing to worry about, Mr. Swann. Our audiences are great.
Alan Swann: Audience? What audience?
Benjy Stone: You knew there was an audience. What did you think those seats were for?
Alan Swann: I haven’t performed in front of an audience for twenty-eight years! [nervous laughter] Audience. I played a butler. I HAD ONE LINE! [beat] I forgot it.
Benjy Stone: Don’t worry. This is going to be easy.
Alan Swann: For you maybe. I’m not an actor, I’m a movie star!