Stoney: Kashmir? Raji, is it. . .? How many minutes for the burrito again?
Kashmir: two minutes.
Raji: One minute.
Kashmir: Two minutes!
Stoney: Ah, make up your melons ! Is it one or two ?
Raji: One and a half minutes.
Stoney: Okay, my friend. Try and experience what I’m about to chirp in your lobes, cool ?
Stoney: Okay buddy, we’re going to discuss grindage. How to fill the furnace, pack the cheeks and stuff the gills. okay ? You’re probably used to eating twigs, right ? But here in the U.S. Of a-age we got something called the four basic food groups, and, Link, this is not one of ’em.
Stoney: Look at what we have here. Dairy group.
Link: Dairy group.
Stoney: Milk duds. hide these under your pillow so your mom doesn’t find them. If she does, you’re tweaked, buddy.
Stoney: Keep on cruisin’. Fruit group. Sweet tarts. These are killer. So citrusy, dude, you’ll freak. Keep on cruisin’. Uh-huh. Right, this is the vegetable group. Corn nuts! Put ’em on a pedestal, bro. Look at that! Those are kill, huh ? [microwave rings] Meat group! Come on, Link, the meat group. These are my favorite ! Hey, you gotta be equal, equal, fifty/fifty. Here. Mmm. Mmm. Ewww! figures. Hot on the outside, icicle in the middle.
Kashmir: Two minutes.
Stoney: You like that, right, ’cause you’re a caveman. Cool, buddy. The beverage ! Icee, bro. This is what put this place on the map.
Raji: What are you doing, Mr. Stoney ? No, no ! You can’t do this here.
Kashmir: You must leave now, please.
Stoney: Look, Kashmir, Rajneesh, chill.
Kashmir: No buds chill!
Stoney: Link and I are cruisin’ the mountain, bro, and we figured we’d weeze the ju-uice.
Raji: No weezen’ the ju-uice.
Link: Weeze the juice!
Raji: No! No weezin’ the juice.
Kashmir: No weezin’ the juice.
Stoney: Hey, just chill, buds. It’s okay. Just chill.
Link: I’ll be back.
Kashmir: No buds chill !
This is one of those movies that I have seen so many times I don’t have an accurate count. It’s also one that I mostly watched edited on television, so when I watched it for the first time on DVD there were so many things that had either been cut out for time or censored for content; it was shocking. Moral of the story: make sure you watch this movie on DVD. My mother and I always joke about how if this movie is on television, no matter what we are doing, we will leave it on because we just have to see that ending scene. It’s definitely one of the greatest endings in film history. A Few Good Men was nominated for four Academy Awards, though it failed to win any: Best Sound, Best Film Editing, Best Supporting Actor Jack Nicholson and Best Picture. Rob Reiner failed to receive a Best Director nomination despite the Best Picture nod. His place went to Robert Altman for The Player, which failed to receive a Best Picture nomination. Always strange when that happens. The other films nominated for Best Picture that year were: The Crying Game, Howard’s End, Scent of a Woman and winner Unforgiven.
Frederick: Alright, I see all that.
Lloyd: Oh no.
Frederick: I just don’t know why I take them.
Lloyd: Freddy love, why does anyone do anything? Why does that other idiot go out of the front door holding two plates of sardines? I mean, I-I’m not getting at you, love.
Gary: Course not, Lloyd. I mean, why do I? I mean, Jesus, when you come to think about it, why *do* I?
Lloyd: Who knows?
Gary: Who knows. You see, Freddy?
Lloyd: The wellsprings of human action are deep and cloudy. Maybe something happened to you when you were a very, very, very small child that made you frightened to let go of groceries.
Belinda: Or it could be genetic.
Gary: Yes, or it could be. . .you know.
Lloyd: Could, could well be.
Frederick: Of course, thank you. I understand all that, but. . .
Lloyd: Freddy love, I’m telling you I don’t know. I. . .I don’t think the *author* knows. I don’t know why the author came into this industry in the first place. I don’t know why any of us came into it.
Frederick: All the same, if you could just give me a reason I could keep in my mind.
Lloyd: Alright, I’ll give you a reason then. You carry those groceries into the study, Freddy honey, because it’s just slightly after midnight, and we’re not going to be finished before we open tomorrow night – Correction: before we open TONIGHT!