Alan: Is that why Ann, am I trying to please you?
Ann: Whether you’re trying or not, you are.
Eddie: I think she looks swell. It couldn’t be her eyes.
Tom: Her eyes?
Eddie: They’re not all skinny. You know, like those ladies in the comic books who are no good. They always got skinny eyes.
Tom: Skinny eyes. Anything else?
Eddie: Well, there’s one other thing, but. . .it’s about sex.
Tom: Go ahead. I can stand it.
Eddie: Well, the bad ladies, they always got big busts. Now, don’t get mad, Dad, but it’s true. Very big. Skinny eyes, and big busts is how you tell a bad lady from a good one.
Tom: Aren’t there any good ladies in all that stuff you read?
Eddie: Oh sure. . .but they always got medium-size busts. . .and round eyes, of course.
Tom: I’ll keep that in mind.
As many of you know, I really love Glenn Ford. Like, really love. I am so excited about all the Glenn Ford media hitting the home video market in the last few months. Enter The Courtship of Eddie’s Father from the Warner Archive Collection. This was such a great film; I can’t believe I had never seen it before.
Ginnie Moorehead: Dave, oh Dave, be in love with me. Oh, I love you so much. I never met anybody like you before in my whole life. I want to love you so awful, awful much.
Dave Hirsh: Don’t cry, Ginnie, don’t cry. I’m sorry if I hurt you. Forgive me, I didn’t mean it. I’m terribly sorry.
Ginnie Moorehead: You know, I’d do anything for you, Dave. I’d do anything, ask me!
Jonathan Shields: Stop looking like that. Remember, I didn’t ask you here. You couldn’t stay where you belong, could you? You couldn’t enjoy what I made possible for you. No. You’d rather have this. Well, congratulations, you’ve got it all laid out for you so you can wallow in pity for yourself. The betrayed woman. The wounded doe with all the drivel that goes with it going through your mind right now. Oh, he doesn’t love me at all. He was lying. All those lovely moments, those tender words. He’s lying. He’s cheap and cruel. That low-woman Lila. Well, maybe I like Lilas. Maybe I like to be cheap once in a while. Maybe everybody does, or don’t you remember? Get that look off your face! Who gave you the right to dig into me and turn me inside out and decide what I’m like. How do you know how I feel about you, how deep it goes? Maybe I don’t want anybody to own me. You or anybody. Get out! Get out! Get out!
Ella Peterson: Susanswerphone.
Larry Hastings: [on the phone] This is Larry Hastings calling; any messages?
Ella Peterson: Just a moment. Blake Barton, the actor, called. He wants to know if there’s a part for him in your new production, “The Midas Touch”.
Larry Hastings: [on the phone] Blake Barton? Never! I’m sick of actors who won’t wear suits and who sound as if they’ve got a mouthful of marbles.